Tuesday, April 21, 2009


The first time I saw Melbourne’s Children Collide live in the flesh, singer Johnny McKay worked up such a flurry in the mosh that he had to beg not to have unruly punters kicked out. So to the surprise of no-one, when they returned to play at Rocket Bar on Thursday night it happened again.

In Adelaide for their Farewell Rocketship Tour, the moment the Eastern rockers struck the first guitar chord the crowd catapulted forwards like a pushing, heaving, feet-flying, sweaty animal. And Rocket Bar is not a big venue to accommodate such frivolity. Two songs into it, McKay was already playing Surrogate Gig Mother. “Please, just calm down everyone and we’ll all be cool,” he asked.

It’s not hard to see why this trio have been leaving head casualties around the country. With the success of debut LP “The Long Now” last year, they’ve caused quite a rumble on the likes of JJJ and Rage, not to mention being the most hotly-anticipated act last month at Adelaide Uni O'Ball.

Earlier in the night we had Syndey support act Regular John. How to describe. Well, they looked nothing short than a bunch of skeletons that had survived puberty on a strict diet of Nirvana. As such, it was a surprise when they begot a tight set of guitar fringed with a metal touch. It sounded sort of like a love child between Kasabian and Guns and Roses. Though I spent the majority of the show envisioning force-feeding them cheesecake, a highly impressive set overall.

At 10.43 (How's that for fuckin' precise!) we had Children Collide. Opening with “Social Currency”, the lads worked their way through LP The Long Now with highlights being tracks like “Farewell Rocketship” and “Skeleton Dance”. Bringing forth meaty rock riffs peppered with violent guitar swings, these guys don't perspire sweat - only pure RAWK. You have to give it to them, no matter the crowd size or venue, high energy levels are never absent in a CC show.

These were the kind of people we had in the crowd tonight. “Play 'Across the Earth'!” a punter, obviously drunk, yelled two songs after it had already been played. "We're not doing it again mate!" McKay retorted. Much lolz.

As the gig got progressively more hectic, things were only made worse when the bouncer tried to interject. Obviously nobody told him that standing on stage, blocking view of the band, is a very bad idea. "Fuck off De Niro!” became a commonplace phrase from the punters behind me, as they then hurtled it at the bouncer every song break. If these guys weren’t insufferable enough, next up was radio personality “Fitzy.” I don't think I need to indulge into much detail to convince you how utterly shit he is..


But I will share his 'rock star antics' all the same. Supposedly, Big Brother and a slot in breakfast radio allows you to behave like this: to throw ice at the security guards and prop yourself up like a footy player on my friend. After finally hitting one with an inch of an ice fragment, he roared in triumph and scanned the room with a huge smile for an applause. He received none. Aside from a justly hissed request to "go fuck himself" from Evon. And back to his little NOVA 919 cave he went. Which he should never leave again.

The set finished with favourite “Chosen Armies”, in which McKay sang into his guitar creating an eerie vocal feedback like a 21st century Jimi Hendrix. A fantastic gig, with five-star gusto from the band as always. And a relief in the end to escape the overwhelming testosterone.

I look forward to seeing the carnage Children Collide create next time they perform.

And seriously, if I see Fitzy at another gig I'm going to bottle him in the fucking face hollering 'YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN EVICTED IN THE FIRST WEEK' over and over... I mean, ahem.

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